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Don't Act Like You Don't Know It.April 1, 2003 It's almost Easter-time, girl. Don't act like you don't know it. And you aint called, girl... in like four weeks. I was in the bathroom this morning, shaving my beautiful, chiseled face, thinking about different ways to gel my hair, praying to Jesus. How could you, girl?I mean, what's the deal? You don't have to say what you did. I already know. I found out from Him. You gave me up for Lent, girl, and that aint cool. But now it's your turn to cry. You should have picked honesty... then you may not have blown it. Now, I'm chillin' poolside, massaging my pecs, and what's that? A ring ring on my celly. "I really gave up chocolate for Lent," you lie. "I been busy. I miss you. Sucky sucky, wah wah wah." Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone? Girl, I found out from Him. You aint called me since Ash Wednesday, 'cuz you gave me up for Lent. The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leaving. There's a whole line of ladies in this town waiting to get Pantsed, girl. I'll be hookin' it up by Good Friday. Oh and by the way - I've been doing your sister since Columbus Day. She's hot like you, but without the lisp. Don't it make you sad about it? Cry me a river, biatch. « prev | April 2003 | next » 13 Comments
you should really warn people that they're gonna need a change of pants before letting them click on the 'may not have blown it' link. Posted by: manda on 1 Apr 03 at 10:22AMSeriously, this is one of the best posts ever. I knew y'all were livin large down in the LA but I had no idea. I was havin such a pissy day too, nice of you to change that. Posted by: Dan on 1 Apr 03 at 12:54PMThe remixed JT looks a little bit like that elf thing from the last Harry Potter movie. I expected to mouse over it and hear "Dobby gots to get fonky!" Posted by: mathowie on 1 Apr 03 at 04:36PMHonestly, that banner scared the shit out of me. I will not be able to sleep tonight. ;) Posted by: Adam on 1 Apr 03 at 11:36PMDoes our Lyrical Mastermind have any plans to beat this sweet song to a beat? Might I suggest something a bit more upbeat than 'Jesus At The Drive-In' but not quite as intense as 'My Vagina' (you wrote that one too, right?) Posted by: Magic Johnson on 2 Apr 03 at 03:14AMi fixed the third link in this post, which apparently had been broken all day... Posted by: ryan on 2 Apr 03 at 09:56AMPlease tell me you're going to redesign soon...that picture is just wrong. *shudder* Posted by: karen on 3 Apr 03 at 09:57AMwait... i thought we all agreed that this design should stay up for the rest of the year? Posted by: ryan on 3 Apr 03 at 11:09AMy'know, I have heard that Mr. Timberlake is highly regarded by the hip-hop community; they say he's got allot of soul. Maybe he should stay up to show some reverence... two comment threads diverged on a site, katia, and you--you chose the one less posted to. and that has made all the difference. Posted by: ryan on 3 Apr 03 at 02:20PMi love this design. and i love you, ryan D. pants, YOU! this is so funny i think i gave meself an embolism. Posted by: jeremy on 4 Apr 03 at 08:03AMthanks, jeremy! i know i'm just too sexy for you, my muscular friend. Posted by: ryan on 4 Apr 03 at 10:25AMThank you for your site. I have found here much useful information! My site: http://verizon-wireless-ringtones.onlybest.info Posted by: Maxell on 17 Apr 06 at 10:56PM |
Pulp InsideKeeping BusyThis sidebar showed Ryan's upcoming events and activities circa 2003.
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