Brendan Is a Wanker.
And other darkness - October 19th, 2000.
At least five employees of a burgeoning eastern Massachusetts golf course were shocked early this morning to learn that one of their coworkers, Brendan French, is a complete and utter Wanker. French, a twenty year old resident of Duxbury, is believed to have migrated to the area from upstate New York.
"We always suspected that he was a Douchebag, but this comes as a bit of a surprise," said a fellow employee, who asked to remain nameless. "I mean, you never encounter those types around here. Don't they all live in Missouri?"
According to observers, French is reported to be lazy, dim-witted, funny looking, rude, and just plain annoying. He has often been known to dissapear for great lengths of time during working hours, and is frequently seen talking on his cell phone at work like a spoiled little fartknocker. After even the briefest of interactions, many who've encountered French agree that he "thinks he's so big, but he's, like, really an assmunch."
But not everyone was shocked by today's revelation.
"Are you kidding? I realized he ws a total Wanker the first time I saw him," commented coworker Ryan Gantz, who insisted that his name be used in full. "Not only does Brendan think he knows everything, but he drives a brand new Saab that his mommy bought for him. And what's the dilly with those sunglasses? Man. What a scumsucking dickweed of a tard."
It is expected that the Wanker will be put on Futerra duty indefinitely.
9:13 PM |