this is a small machine.

so i find myself at target, with oodles to buy and not much to spend. in my pants, in my pocket, in one part of my wallet, i carry a small plastic card stamped with a shiny, faded hologram. it is fun to let salespersons or cashiers swipe the card in exchange for goods and services. usually when i let salespersons or cashiers swipe the card, i proceed to exit a large building carrying several plastic bags that contain a variety of products. often, the people who swipe try to give me too many bags. i refuse the bags at the counter, explaining, "i do not need this many bags. this product, for example, has a handle built into it for carrying. this bag will be wasted." my plastic card connects the person doing the swiping to a cache of cash stored as numbers in a database at a bank across the country on the east coast. i don't pay much attention to the rate at which these numbers grow smaller. i enjoy eating out and swiping. sometimes, sand gets into my wallet and abuses my plastic.

i spent twenty minutes in the bedding section of target, examining the patterns and prices of sofa covers. sofa covers are not inexpensive. the nice-looking sofa covers cost $100 dollars. that's good money i could spend on beer or parking tickets. the $60 sofa covers come in plaid. nobody much likes plaid anymore, but now we have it in the living room of our apartment. our apartment is in the valley.

the target people have hidden little red machines throughout each of their fine stores. it is fun to try and find them. you can grab any sofa cover in any bag and hold its tattoo code under the little red machine, and the little red machine will tell you how much the sofa cover costs. this technique seems to work for other goods and products not related to sofas or bedding in general. i have yet to find an item that the little red machine does not know personally. however, i have not tried bringing items into target from other retailers, or from my home and office, to see if the machine recognizes them and how much they might be worth.

today i tried hard and thought of some things that you can buy and sell but that don't have space for a tattoo code. that happens with ideas and behavior and sometimes pictures. on the news they said that funnyman eddie murphy is in trouble for imitating a janitor on television. i enjoy eating crackers and watching television until i am about to fall asleep. i think that ritz crackers taste better than saltines, especially with cheese. at night you can order small machines over the phone, from the television. there's something on pretty much all the time.

i forgot what i was going to say.