my room is clean, and i've worked all week, and today has been rainy, but full of activity. cooking and errands. reading and watching. i'm twenty-three, and i'm generally a good boy, and there's a girl i love who's far away, and i'm going to try as hard as i can to let everything fall into place. wants, dreams, and plans. i've never put all of my effort into anything, ever, in my whole life. how terribly boring. but it's true, and it's unascceptable, so enough: the talk ends here. it's go time. goodnight.

- 1/20/2001 01:53:09 AM - up

eat a lot
drink a lot
brush 'em like crazy.


- 1/18/2001 03:52:36 AM - up

i slept from 8 pm to 8 am.
i'm not so happy about that.

- 1/17/2001 08:12:16 AM - up

out came the rain
which washed away the snow
and the icky boring winter
had reared its head again

after a couple weeks of quiet, i posted to communion again, the continuing weblog conversation between myself and christine.

good weekend. time for work. many things planned. distance makes the heart grow blonder.

did i say 01.02.00?
i meant 10.02.20.

- 1/15/2001 08:23:55 PM - up

i am very happy, because the first of my time-life muppet show videotapes arrived today. another should be on the way soon. i keep only the tapes i like, and i can cancel anytime i want. the only thing i've aver purchased over the phone (and cheap!) after watching a television advertisement. i think the muppet show is second only to the simpsons as the best tv show of all time.

gangbang moved, and it's banging again.

and i really want to know what it is. really.

- 1/11/2001 06:37:05 PM - up

i'm a mess
i slept through most of today
skipped work
ate nothing.
everything's only half-interesting.

being away from someone has
never been so tough.
picturesque pictures.
back to bed.

- 1/10/2001 02:47:10 PM - up

full moon so bright, the fresh snow glows like bathing suits in daylight.

- 1/10/2001 02:24:57 AM - up

for a while last night i attempted to stay up all night but i couldn't make it so i bailed at about 4:30 am and went to sleep for nigh three hours, then woke up and headed out back to work after a hearty breakfast of juice and tea and muffin and OH'S cereal which tastes even more delicious thani remember. work begins at eight and outside snow was falling, on cars and frosty trees and the grass of the course, and the snow kept falling all day until 4 pm when the sun peeked out for only a moment. teetering floating down. i kept tellign the boys that in no less than twenty minutes we were going to have the ultimate sledding championship of the world up on the hillside of hole 14. the ever-eroding gullies, i suggest, will provide adequate natural luge tracks for those of you who prefer more cool runnings. we laughed. i wasn't laughing when i tried to move my car and discovered that both will's driveway and the dirt lot in front of the shop had turned to ice, adn believe me the granada's rear wheel drive and hella-high idle is not conducive to successful skid-free breaking.

the heater in the shop blows hot air directly at my face: we were carpenters today, assembling little water houses that hold cups and coolers, which will be set into the ground in various places around the course come spring thaw. the water-houses are green with white trim. i enjoy geometry, physical activity, laughing, and power tools. we hit burger king (cramming four grownish men into the front seat of an F-150) for lunch which was disgusting but you get what you pay for and you no damn well what you're going to pay for every time you go into a burger king yet everyone insists on complaining afterwards. lunch break was appropriately flanked by massive snowball fights. the snow always fell, even when we were inside and warm. the little radio played a beatles song at least once every hour, enjambed with old CSN tunes, paul simon, and groups from the seventies that no one has ever heard of let alone cares about, except michael. mike and i put white stripping on the sides of the structures. also we shingled one roof. the structures are small like a dog house. they're not all done yet. i didn't crash my car on the way home.

and just now i was out walking one lap around the neighborhood alone, because everyone else is asleep or not around or both, and everything looked all snowscenic and frostfancy, trees puffed with snow (the snow was wet, good for sticking, good for snowballs) and there was little wind and mostly silence, bright moon partially hidden behind crouching clouds. very nice alone, but even verier nice when you're with someone, and it occured to me that i haven't experienced a real snowy day in plymouth in the last ten years without my friend josh being around. or without him being somewhere around town. water-domed landscapes such as these exist to be travelled through, you and one friend.

- 1/10/2001 12:04:57 AM - up

i'm only part of me. but i still have my dignitude.

- 1/7/2001 05:57:08 PM - up

i'm proud to have a few photos in the F/2 Photography section of this month. i think aimee's design looks great, and i'd like to thank her for including my work along with that of the other photographers. well done. punk rock.

- 1/6/2001 10:53:42 PM - up

i'm not dead. also, i am a little behind schedule on my plans and so forth, for the best of reasons. santa was good to me. friends have gone and come. the space odyssey has only grown more wide-angled and well-paced.

- 1/3/2001 02:43:48 AM - up

family and friends are the best. it would take a long time to sequence words in just the right way, to convey exactly how much the best. but i feel it.

- 12/25/2000 02:29:11 AM - up

walkin' in a winter wonderland.

- 12/22/2000 10:23:25 AM - up

plenty happening, little to tell.
but you know:

people and places.
that productive feeling.
butterfly anticipation.

wrappings, ribbons,
talking and blinking.

a list, not yet a poem.

- 12/20/2000 06:43:27 PM - up

i should spend less time doing domestic tasks and more time reading. that's all part of my five-year plan. also, it should be noted that i enjoy writing letters. but if i sleep late, and miss most of the sunshine, the day slips away before i feel awake.

just as quickly, a week passes. wonderful.

- 12/18/2000 09:40:15 PM - up

I mean, I'm all for family and everything, but a shallow and uninformed album review isn't helping anybody.

- 12/17/2000 05:31:50 PM - up

off we go to boston, off we go to lynn, drunk with exitedment, for just one night.

- 12/16/2000 09:14:13 AM - up

i could listen to rem's chronic town ep for ever and ever.

- 12/16/2000 12:28:03 AM - up

goodnight, bowl of mush.

- 12/15/2000 01:29:55 AM - up

1. today is also the 100th anniversary of quantum theory. particle physics never ceases to amaze me. even more mind-expanding (in both a scientific and a spiritual sense) is the article in this month's discover magazine in which physicist julian barbour asserts that time is an illusion, our misperception of a collection of eternal Nows.

2. everone agrees that oh's are the best cereal of all time (with the possible exception of quisp), so why the hell don't they sell the shit at shaw's grocery store? if i was 5o years older, i'd have half a mind to write a formal letter of complaint to someone who might possibley give a crap.

3. early throwing muses records and french-pressed coffee can turn even the most overcast of days into a beautiful indoor music video.

4. i may have mad skillz.

- 12/14/2000 02:07:43 PM - up

sleep, sandwich, car fresh from the shop, coffee, reading in the library, grocery shopping, spaghetti preparation, white wine, naptime, phone calls, important speeches, email, hot tea, ravishing audio, shivering, smoking and chatting with an old best friend, great television, a cooling fireplace, yogurt and the web.

and today i'm 23. still moving up. lying on a bed, at night.

- 12/14/2000 03:51:11 AM - up

moving on up: i'm proud to introduce two new collaborative projects that i'm involved with. gangbang brings together a few intelligent 20-24 year olds from the world of personal publishing for some links and conversation - an idea developed by several of us, a design developed by raza.

communion follows a more intimate conversation between christine and myself - a design developed by me, an idea that came in a dream.

- 12/13/2000 03:05:34 AM - up

at times new jersey frightens me. but driving with my brother never gets stale, when there's a stolen IHOP thermos pitcher of french-pressed coffee in the car for sipping. i spent one night visiting kariann, and another visiting david and his friends. nice. jersey is beautiful in places. but the radio sucks. hell, all radio sucks these days. juckily i had def leppard's hysteria and the new death cab for cutie record to keep me musically alert. of course, while i was casually hanging about with friends, brother jeremy was bumping around nyc and abusing substances. atta boy.

a good streaming acoustic beck show makes typing that much more enjoyable. a little green light in the room would make it perfect.

- 12/13/2000 02:39:22 AM - up

today i got me a nice, sensible haircut. tomorrow i'm taking a weekend road trip to new jersey. i'm glad about this. driving can be quite relaxing, i'm sure you'll agree. it will be a nice four day break from work, and break from the web.

a break from the web. i changed my design recently because i'm ready to share something beyond silly and sensitive thoughts. I'll be taking it slow and short for a while, collaborating on new projects and brainstorming up a new way to deliver the lovely little things you keep in your secret heart.

- 12/8/2000 02:05:33 AM - up

factory512 (a beautiful looking site itself) is the kind of crazy-fresh treasure trove of graphic design links that gets me drooling. its all inspiring to the nth degree, coded fresh like a 6 ounce cup of orange juice.

i'm also excitied to see that christine and erlina have at last launched sari sari , a most charming online magazine.

- 12/8/2000 12:54:57 AM - up

too much internet make me crazy.

- 12/7/2000 12:51:51 AM - up

while cleaning my room today, i stumbled upon a note that had fallen behind my desk. i'd scrawled a quote on a piece of paper so I would remember to blog it. in may, while i was working in the pet cemetary, i heard the funniest, saddest thing i'd ever heard on the radio. it was a television ad, spoken in a powerful, monster-truck-rally radio voice:

Jesus - His message was short, but he will never be forgotten! The Jesus miniseries event, on CBS.

- 12/6/2000 01:30:29 PM - up

the wind outside my house blew hard enough this morning that i began to lose feeling in my face. that was so loser, because i like having a face. the weather's different, but i could swear we're in the same place.


in that Shake your ass, watch yourself song, what the hell does it mean when he says, "you better put a head on that there crawfish"? I'm worried that it might be, um, lude.

- 12/6/2000 09:49:33 AM - up

don't mess with my boy Raza, or you get burned. let that be a lesson to ye: never take it for granted that a passage of writing presents a complete portrait of that passage's author. dismissing a weblogger on the basis of one post would be not unlike dismissing Rod Stewart on the basis of Da Ya Think I'm Sexy.

see? nothing wrong with a little voice excercise. also, ugh.

- 12/5/2000 07:25:01 PM - up

projects in the works, people on the horizon. all good.

- 12/5/2000 05:29:13 PM - up

you haven't lived until you've driven a backhoe in the december dusk while drinking a cold newcastle. a backhoe offers a great deal of help when it comes time to hang christmas lights on a giant spruce.

- 12/4/2000 06:00:37 PM - up

the sites and smells of a december weekend in boston are delicious. i went up for a godspeed you black emperor show on friday night (with my brother and steve), then stayed on for two days worth of unexpected walking (through a forest that jonah, jonas and I came upon in newton), drinking (at an absurd harpoon brewery tent event), and catching up with an old friend (virgil, via driving and videogames and music and chat).

for me, moving through a city is feeling like a part of something large, one person chasing accomplishments among many people working and playing. riding a train is getting places without responsibility. and everywhere there's shopping. oh, the shopping.

- 12/4/2000 12:33:49 AM - up

today i was standing on a red pickup truck full of hay, in the afternoon sunlight, and it felt like fall, and for a moment the air smelled like an autumn christmas.

- 12/1/2000 05:06:46 PM - up

once they get going, narrative instincts are not easy to control. in the shower, or in the mall, or poking at a dumb question; none of these events become experiences until i write about them. without the telling, my relationship to my surroundings seems vague, a wet back porch that i never think to sit on, metaphors that i don't trust as far as i can throw them. these stairs are moving, a temporary outlet.

- 12/1/2000 02:21:28 AM - up

ryan - i'm brainstorming
powered by blogger